Most articles on adaptability in leadership say a lot without saying anything new. They focus on theories and advice, but skip the messy reality of what it feels like when you’re adapting your leadership style and it just feels wrong. So let’s get real. 

 

Adaptability in leadership is the ability to flex how you communicate and show up, based on the situation and your people's needs. It means knowing when to step in or step back, when to lead from the front or coach from the side, and when to be collaborative versus when to set the direction and expectations. Good leaders don’t pick one style and stick to it. They adapt. 

 

But here’s the messy part: when you do this well, it often feels like you’re doing it wrong. It feels clunky, and at worst, it can feel like you're failing at – at least in your own head. 

Changing your leadership style can make you feel less confident, less in control, and less like yourself. You might worry you’re being inconsistent or inauthentic. You may even fear that adapting will hurt your image or your results. People might misread your flexibility as a lack of conviction. That’s when self-doubt creeps in. 

 

For example, if you're a collaborative leader and need to set clear expectations, it might feel unnatural. If you're used to solving problems and giving answers, but choose to coach instead, it’ll feel uncomfortable. 

 

That discomfort is the hidden cost of adapting. It often brings second-guessing and the sense you're getting it wrong. But it's also a sign you’re growing. If you’re not willing to sit in that discomfort, you won’t adapt under pressure. You’ll understand adaptability in theory but avoid it in practice. 

 

So next time you feel stretched, ask yourself: Am I leading in the way that’s best for the person and the outcome — or just in the way that’s most comfortable for me? There’s your answer. 

 

PS: Here’s something more tangible… 

 

If you're looking to shift from being a fixer and problem solver to a leader who coaches and grows their people, then we’re running a one-off public workshop for Women Leaders Institute members. 

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For the first time in three years, we’ve opened up our Leader Coach workshop, which is usually run in-house for organisations. It’s one of our most sought-after leadership development experiences. And we’ve priced it to be accessible to leaders without a big corporate training budget. Just NZD $850 for two full days in a small group setting, plus follow-up coaching labs – that's a steal! 

 

Spaces are limited and it’s an invite-only event. Don’t miss out. 

 

👉  Here’s the link to the event 

🗓  15-16 July 2025 (Takapuna, Auckland) 

⏰ Registrations close 30 June 2025