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The Connection Between Communication and Confidence

Shelley Flett
Transformational leadership trainer and executive coach

Many assume communicating 'should' be easy; after all, we've been doing it our whole life. So, when communication isn't done well, we take it personally, make decisions about our abilities, and form beliefs about not being good enough, which affects our confidence. 


Once a belief forms that "I'm not a good communicator," it becomes self-fulfilling. We seek and find evidence of this belief by focusing on our external environment, overthinking responses, tones, or body language, but rarely confirming assumptions. 


The reality is that communication is inherently messy because of all the moving parts: the people involved with their baggage (perspectives, experiences, beliefs), our own baggage, the environment, and context. It has amplified in recent years with the fast pace that many operate at, and the contrasting need for us to slow down so we can communicate effectively, with presence, awareness, and intention. 


When we accept that communication is challenging and impossible for anyone to get right every time, we can build confidence on our progress and reshape our self-beliefs. 


We all make mistakes, and we all succeed; that's what makes us human. Have confidence in your improvement, celebrating successes and learning from failures equally. 

About Shelley

Shelley Flett is a transformational leadership trainer and executive coach who believes the journey to dynamic leadership is lifelong, it's exciting and challenging – and the most fulfilling adventure one can embark on in their career. It's a journey to take with others – to learn, to grow, to fail, to love and experience all the joy that comes with being imperfectly human – together! 

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